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Dear Computer,

I don't like people.

To stop myself going insane and screaming at passers by, I have begun compiling a catalog of indirect 'bursts' about the things in life that annoy me.

Please excuse my spineless behaviour, as I vent my angst through the anoraks these pricks wear. I do this because I see these people on a regular basis, and I'd hate to receive nasty stares or abusive tuts from them.

Some of them aren't pricks by the way, I just have nothing better to do.

Love from

Rob x

Click here to email me, I'm so alone/unemployed
I used to bump into this Crusty at these house shows I’d go to. I’d be there in my best knitted sweater and he would laugh and smirk at me as if I was the social retard. You lurk about squats wearing a list of slightly grotesque band names, you walk like a deep sea diver thanks to Captain Ketamine, and your mum still drives you to work on a morning. This is what punk is now. They say punk’s dead, but it isn’t, It’s just shit.

I used to bump into this Crusty at these house shows I’d go to. I’d be there in my best knitted sweater and he would laugh and smirk at me as if I was the social retard. You lurk about squats wearing a list of slightly grotesque band names, you walk like a deep sea diver thanks to Captain Ketamine, and your mum still drives you to work on a morning. This is what punk is now.

They say punk’s dead, but it isn’t, It’s just shit.

For some reason, Army Jackets have ended up being the choice symbol of rebellion for all those morons who hung around the music block on their lunch breaks at highschool - discussing the intricate chord patterns of Nirvana and Greenday, and talking about all the girls they definitely haven’t had sex with-. For a while, this frequented music block corridor stunk of that distinct waterproof coated, but somehow always damp, army surplus smell. A brief change from the lurking scent of uncleaned, and virginal teenage breath. For me, rebellion was short lived. An hour in the washing machine and mummy had certainly shrunk any chances i had of looking cool and alternative.

For some reason, Army Jackets have ended up being the choice symbol of rebellion for all those morons who hung around the music block on their lunch breaks at highschool - discussing the intricate chord patterns of Nirvana and Greenday, and talking about all the girls they definitely haven’t had sex with-.

For a while, this frequented music block corridor stunk of that distinct waterproof coated, but somehow always damp, army surplus smell. A brief change from the lurking scent of uncleaned, and virginal teenage breath. For me, rebellion was short lived. An hour in the washing machine and mummy had certainly shrunk any chances i had of looking cool and alternative.

I always see these large male groups hanging around cash machines and off licenses, all beating each other up and smashing bins and traffic cones. Among this testosterone filled environment stands a cold and unimpressed female. I once watched this nature program about this male pack of Gorillas that lived in the mountains, they went so long without getting any female action that they turned to each other for sexual relief. I’m not saying that these hooded youths are also turning to homosexuality, but if it can happen once, it can happen again.

I always see these large male groups hanging around cash machines and off licenses, all beating each other up and smashing bins and traffic cones. Among this testosterone filled environment stands a cold and unimpressed female.

I once watched this nature program about this male pack of Gorillas that lived in the mountains, they went so long without getting any female action that they turned to each other for sexual relief. I’m not saying that these hooded youths are also turning to homosexuality, but if it can happen once, it can happen again.

Can’t beat a good fleece. Perfect for wondering around crappy markets looking for bargains in home utilities, utensils and un-necessaries. The best thing about Fleeces are their range in style and topic, whether you like rabbits, cats or even wolves there’s one out there for you. The great thing about this is, the owners of the market stalls know instantly want you need in your life. A fleece is the starting point for a life of hoarding and boiled sweets. Heaven.

Can’t beat a good fleece. Perfect for wondering around crappy markets looking for bargains in home utilities, utensils and un-necessaries. The best thing about Fleeces are their range in style and topic, whether you like rabbits, cats or even wolves there’s one out there for you.

The great thing about this is, the owners of the market stalls know instantly want you need in your life. A fleece is the starting point for a life of hoarding and boiled sweets. Heaven.